Backyard Bonanza
by Addicted Archangel
Summary: Written for the Bad Fic 2009 Competition. And oh, is it ever bad. Two profilers enjoy the aftermath of a rainstorm with some slightly uncomfortable results. Slash Reid/Hotch. Very OOC. Crackfic deluxe. Read at own risk :D


**A/N: This spiffy little piece of absolutely horrific slashiness was written for the Bad Fic Competition 2009. Less than a week to go, guys! Let me see your entries! Follow the link on my page and submit your own.**

**Disclaimer: I usually don't put these here, but I have a feeling that this will be a good time do do so. I don't own them. And if I did, I wouldn't make them do this!**

-o-o-o-

It was a soft spring evening about 15 minutes after a huge rainstorm had passed. The air was crisp and fresh, birds had just begun singing again in the trees, and children eagerly ran around outside, jumping in the puddles that had formed in the quiet suburban street that ran in front of the house.

Reid sat on the back porch, just listening to the sound of the last drops of rain leaving the trees and falling onto the ground. Drip. Drop. Drip. Drop. Drip, drip drop, little April shower…

The young agent closed his eyes and drew a deep breath. The smell of the fresh rain on the lawn was magical. He could sit here for hours. But the same smell that made him relax also made him feel something else.

Rising from his seat on the porch, he opened the sliding glass door and went inside.

"Aaron?"

A muffled voice came from another part of the house. "Yeah?"

"I'm bored and horny."

"Okey dokey."

Pad pad pad. The older, but still strikingly attractive man walked into the living room, wearing only his boxers and open dress shirt. "Horny, huh?"

"Yup."

"So where do you wanna do it?"

"On the lawn. It smells so nice after the rain."

"Alrighty."

Following his young lover back out onto the porch and out on the wet grass, the superior ignored the neighbor trimming his hedge on the other side of the yard. They quickly undressed and lay down on the soft lawn.

Kissing passionately, they rolled around uncontrollably, grass clinging to unmentionable parts of their bodies. Hands groped everywhere they could reach and after a few moments Reid pushed Hotch aside and turned to stand on his hands on knees.

"Take me, stud!"

"Alrighty!"

Positioning himself behind his young trophy lover, the gorgeous unit chief took a firm hold of his cock and gave it a few strokes, brushing off strands of grass as he went along. A quick spit in the hand gave him the slickness he needed to enter Reid with expert precision.

A high moan escaped the young agent, who bit his lip and screwed his eyes shut.

"Could you two keep it down over there!" a voice suddenly came from over the low hedge. "My wife is trying to sleep!"

"Yes, Mr. Attenbourough…" both agents replied in perfect unison.

"By the way, do you mind if I take a few pictures? Just to have while you guys go on the road?" The 40+ man on the next yard leaned on his ladder, trying to get a better look.

"Go ahead, Mr. Attenbourough…" both agents once again called out in chorus.

"Great. Don't mind me."

Click. Click. Click. Clickclickclick.

The two copulating men began moving to a steady beat.

"Oh, Aaron!" Reid called out in ecstasy. "I love feeling you inside me!"

"Oh, Spencer!" Hotch replied while thrusting into his subordinate's hot ass. "You are so hot! Beautiful! Wonderful! Amazing!"

"A little to the left!"

"Oh!"

"No, the other left!"

"OH!"

The young agent gave a sound that resembled a kitten purring, and he arched his back to take his superior as deep as possible.

"Aaron!"

"Spencer!"

"Did you set the timer for the washing machine?!"

"Yes! Yes! Oh, God yes!"

The superior felt himself rushing to his peak, and taking hold of the younger man's slim hips, he gave one last hard thrust, sending his load of sperms deep into Reid's colon, which spastically received it.

"OoooooOOOOH BUDDY HOLLY!!"

As Reid heard the man of his dream yell out behind him, he was sent over the edge and came hard, shooting slimy goop all over the wet grass below.

"Goethe…Goethe…Goethe…FREUD!!"

Both men collapsed panting on the grass, right on top of the pile of manjuice Reid had just left.

"That was wonderful…" Hotch whispered, wiping some sweat from his brow.

"It was…"

They held each other for a few moments before rising and gathering up their discarded clothes. They walked back into the house to make coffee and watch the six o'clock news before heading to bed.

"Aaron?"

"Yes, pookie?"

"Where do we keep the enemas? I think I have a bunch of grass up my ass."

"Third drawer in the bedroom cabinet, under the strap on."

"Thank. So when **is **Strauss coming over again?"

"I don't know, I keep telling her that it was so amazing last time she was here, but she hasn't responded to my emails.

"Ah well. Maybe agent Todd will have mercy on us then."

"Maybe she will, Spencer." Hotch kissed the young man on the cheek and brushed off some grass from his hair. "Maybe she will."


End file.
